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There was an old lady who went out with honey and fruits one day. She felt terribly thirsty after a long walk, so she ate an amla (a type of fruit that is sweet) to quench her thirst. There happened to be a household living at the roadside, and so the old lady requested for a cup of water from that family.
Unfortunately, the well belonging to this family was a dead well and the water inside it was already stale and smelly. With no other sources of water nearby, the family had to live off such water for survival. The female head of the household scooped some water from the well and served it to the old lady. Instead of finding the water dirty and smelly, the old lady felt that the water was sweet, as though she had drunk some sweet dew.
She then asked the female household head: "Can I give you my honey in exchange for a pot of water from your well?"
Feeling puzzled, the younger woman said, "The water quality of this well is very bad. Why would you want to exchange your honey for it?"
The old lady replied, “But it tastes like sweet dew to me!”
Under the insistence of the old lady, the woman had no choice but to give her a pot of well water in exchange for her honey.
After arriving home, the old lady immediately poured a cup of the water taken from the well and drank it. This time, she found it very hard to swallow. She was puzzled as to why it was so, and thus drank a second cup, only to find that it tasted equally bad. She was very confused, and wondered why the water which came from the same source tasted so different at home… She poured another cup and drank it and felt the same.
Unconvinced, the old lady asked her neighbours to come over to her place to try the water. But her neighbours did not dare to drink the water when they saw how turbid it was.
The old woman said, "This water tasted really good at first, but it is not the same anymore after I brought it back. It is really strange. Please take a sip!"
A neighbour reluctantly tasted a bit and exclaimed in shock: "Ah! This water really stinks! How can it be drinkable?"
The old lady felt very confused and puzzled. She only came to a realisation after recalling the whole incident carefully! She remembered eating an amla before drinking the water from that family. It was the sweet aftertaste of the fruit which made her feel that the water was sweet. After discovering the reason, she regretted exchanging her honey for a pot of dirty, smelly water.
In fact, many people often have such a regret in their daily life. For example, they do not appreciate the good teachings they have heard, but instead take in foul gossips and disputes without discerning whether they are true or false. This is just like the old lady exchanging her honey for a pot of dirty water.
Therefore, I often say that we must take disputes as lessons, not conflicts. If we could see disputes as lessons to learn, it would be as though we were drinking honey and eating amla fruits, which would not only quench our thirst but also keep our breath fresh. However, if we see disputes as conflicts, it would be like drinking dirty water, which would not only harm us, but also cause others to despise us.
It is difficult for one to be born as a human being. Since it was not easy for us to come to this world, if we do not know how to make good use of our limited life, it would be as good as exchanging the honey that we have for dirty water. Then, our journey of life would be wasted and very difficult!
Extracted from Tzu Chi Taiwan website
Translated by the Tzu Chi Singapore translation team
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