(Photo by Alvin Tan)
There was a beautiful girl in France who was born to a poor family. After she grew up to adulthood, she married a civil servant. This marriage was considered quite good in view of her family circumstances, but she felt unhappy every day and often took pity on herself as she looked at herself in the mirror.
She would think, "I am no uglier than others. Why must I be married to such a family, without a comfortable house and a luxurious hall, and with no servants to serve me?"
Because of that, she felt troubled every day.
A discontented heart is hard to please
One day, her husband brought home an invitation card for a wedding ball from his superior. He had taken a lot of effort, asking people around for favors, to obtain the card, because his wife very much wished to attend a fancy ball.
It was an honour for the couple to be invited to the ball. But the husband thought to himself one day: “My wife must be delighted, but why doesn’t she look happy?”
So, he asked his wife why she felt unhappy, and she replied, “It is embarrassing to attend such a ball without an elegant gown. I might as well not attend.” She added that she needed an elegant gown to fit the occasion.
She had set her eyes on an evening gown that cost 400 francs. Her husband only managed to save 400 francs after so many years. But thinking that his wife had suffered a lot after marrying him, he clenched his teeth and withdrew all his savings from the bank for her to have the gown custom-made.
Despite so, the wife was still not satisfied. Her husband asked her what else she lacked, and she replied, "Although I already have a gown, I have no jewellery to wear. Wouldn’t I appear too shabby?”
The husband felt sorry and helpless after hearing what his wife said. However, he came up with an idea and suggested to her: “Don’t you have a friend who is always wearing a lot of jewellery? It shouldn’t be that difficult for you to borrow a piece of jewellery from her, based on your friendship with her.”
The wife said, "You are right! Why didn’t I think of her?”
Thus, she went to visit her friend and told her that she needed to borrow a piece of jewellery to wear to the wedding ball. Her friend was generous enough to take out all her jewellery boxes for her to pick a piece.
The wife spent a long time trying on many pieces of jewellery and finally picked a diamond necklace. She felt that it best suited her status and matched her gown very well, and her friend generously lent it to her.
On the day of the ball, the young wife put on her luxurious gown and wore an expensive diamond necklace for the occasion. Her presence attracted many envious eyes and loads of praise, and she was very happy and satisfied with herself. After the ball ended, the couple happily returned home, only to be shocked that the diamond necklace had gone missing!
The wife didn't know how to explain what happened to her friend. So, she borrowed a lot of money to buy an identical diamond necklace to return to the latter.
Four to five years later, her friend noticed that she had become very haggard and her hands had turned very rough. So, she asked her what happened to her with great concern.
The wife said with a deep sigh: "The diamond necklace which I borrowed from you at that time went missing. In order to return you the necklace, I borrowed a lot of money and then have to work to pay off the debt. I haven’t been able to clear the debt till now!"
After hearing that, her friend felt sorry and guilty, and said to her: “Actually, that necklace was a counterfeit!"
The wife exclaimed, "What?! It was not a real diamond necklace? But I went to buy a real diamond necklace to return to you! I have suffered so many years doing hard labour!"
A mind not swayed by vanity is a free mind
From this story, we can understand that when people give rise to vanity, they will start to suffer. And when they chase after fleeting luxury and enjoyment due to vanity, they will suffer twice the pain. If they continue their erroneous ways without realising their wrongs, they will only end up suffering the consequences of their actions.
I have also said before that a person who is physically ill is already suffering enough, so he should not have an unhealthy mindset as this will add to his suffering.
In a nutshell, we must remain unaffected when faced with either hardship or joy in the outside world. If we do not have greedy desires or any wish to escape our lot, we will naturally live happily, with ease and without any worries.
Extracted from “吾爱吾家” (Wu Ai Wu Jia)
Translated by the Tzu Chi Singapore translation team
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